New teachers!
by Leslie Thoirdorchadas
Summary: Harry Potter/Labyrinth Crossover-Comedy-Romance-Action/Adventure! Not the funniest thing in the world but I'm trying!
1. We get a sign, I think.

  
A.N: Ooooooooookay, I am totally bored and doing this for no apparent reason other than the fact that I'm bored and I have this HUGE writer's block and I want to see how I'd be at humor and I'm soooo totally rambling and no I don't speak like a valley girl on my normal days but I just found out where my dad hid the brown sugar so NYAH! OH! AND THOUGHTS ARE IN THESE! º.......º  
  
Disclaimer: I'll put it for..... HARRY POTTER! Yeah! I don't own Harry Potter! That's what I'll do this fic on! Harry Potter books! Okay! So I have an Idea!  
  
~^*^~^*^~^*^~^*^~^*^~^*^~^*^~^*^~^*^~^*^~  
  
*Seeking Serenity woke up one day and got VEEERY mad.*   
  
Seeking Serenity: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO GO TO ENGLAND!?  
  
Little messenger boy: I don't make the rules! Don't hurt meeeeee! *cringes.*  
  
Seeking Serenity: *grumbling.* Do you atleast know -why- I'm being called to England?  
  
L.M.B: Uh, it hastadosomethingaboutthatnewbookseriesHarryPotter!  
  
Seeking Serenity: _-Huh?-_  
  
L.M.B: I SAID! *takes a deep breath* IT HAS TA DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT NEW BOOK SERIES HARRY POTTER!  
  
*Seeking Serenity drops to the ground.*  
  
Seeking_Serenity: WHAT!  
  
*dials psychotic_angul.*  
  
Psychotic_angul: hello?  
  
Seeking Serenity: Umm... yeah, how much do you like the Harry Potter books?  
  
~^*^~^*^~^*^~^*^~^*^~^*^~^*^~^*^~^*^~^*^~  
  
Seeking Serenity: *hums "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun," by Cindy Lauper as she waited for Psychotic_Angul.* Damn, we're gonna be late!  
  
*A crash is heard outside*  
  
Seeking Serenity: Maybe not...  
  
Psychotic_Angul: *runs in, she's all dusty and muddy, still wearing a helmet* Sorry! The bike doesn't work that good!  
  
Seeking Serenity: *shakes her head* Alright, so far I only know that we need to pack. We're waiting for the mail to come so we know what the hell is going on.  
  
Psychotic_Angul: *Shrugs* sounds good to me!.  
  
*Psychotic_Angul takes her duffel bag from the basket on the bike's front handles. Seeking Serenity pulls out her duffel and goes to her room. She pulls out two suitcases that already have clothes in them, and her backpack thats full of fantasy books. She tosses toiletries and her walet into the duffel. She tosses her Chinese, stainless steel, fighter's knife and swiss into the bag. She finally gives in to her cravings and tosses High-in-caffine coffee into her bag along with two bags of brown sugar.*  
  
Seeking Serenity: Now lets just wait for the mail!  
  
*As if on cue a barn owl floats into her door. It drops a letter into her lap and rests on the arm of her chair.*  
  
Psychotic_Angul: Does this mean Hogwarts is real?  
  
Seeking Serenity: *reads letter, then drops it in shock. She turns to Psychotic_Angul* How would you like to go to Hogwarts for this year?  
  
Psychotic_Angul: Like for the summer?  
  
Seeking Serenity: No, I mean -year- as in, Hogwart's -School- year.  
  
Psychotic_Angul: *mouth drops open* Wha-What!?  
  
Seeking Serenity: For some strange reason, we were chosen to teach there.  
  
~^*^~^*^~^*^~^*^~^*^~^*^~^*^~^*^~^*^~^*^~  
  
~Kay, now this part of the story is in regular format!~  
  
Seeking Serenity read the letter out loud,   
  
"Dear Ms Leslie-Ann Cho and Ms Ashia Alcover-Fernandez,  
  
We are in need of two new teacher's for the new classes, Defending the Night   
and Betrayal of the Day. We are quite aware that you may be a bit confused   
on what you may need to teach our students. We will provide what is needed.  
  
Yours Sincerely,  
  
Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry"  
  
Leslie, Seeking Serenity, looked up at Ashia, Psychotic_Angul, "Think we should take the job?"  
  
Ashia had gone starry eyed, "Hell Yeah! We'd have to be crazy -not- to take it!"  
  
Leslie wrote a quick note and sent it with the owl. Moments later the owl returned, telling them how to get where they need to. Two chest appeared next to the girls and Leslie dumpped her stuff into the third hidden compartment, Ashia did the same. Finally Leslie said she wanted a vampire bat and a Diamondback Rattler, since she can't have snakes in Hawaii, with her and Ashia said she wanted a snowy owl. three cages appeared with the animals. Shrugging both girls followed the directions on the note and came to the airport. They boarded a plane with two tickets that they found with the note and left. Ashia slept when the plane took off, and Leslie roamed around. She saw a young girl, around her age, holding a baby that looked two years old. Leslie knelt next to her, she was crying, "Are you alright?"  
  
The brown haired girl sobbed, "No, I was sent away, by my parents, before they died."  
  
"What happend?"  
  
"My step-mother found out something that I did, she told my dad and they sent me away. They got into a car accident later."  
  
"Oh, do you need a place to stay?"  
  
The girl looked up, "I really can't impose on you..."  
  
Leslie smiled, "Its okay, really, it is."  
  
The other smiled gratefully, "Thank you so much, I'm Sarah, Sarah Williams, this is my brother Toby, I got him when our parents died."  
  
"Hello Sarah, I'm Leslie-Ann Cho, just call me Les. My sleeping friend is Ashia Alcover-Fernandez, just call her Ashi."  
  
~^*^~^*^~^*^~^*^~^*^~^*^~^*^~^*^~^*^~^*^~  
  
*Theres a brilliant burst of light. Seeking Serenity sits on a gold colored dragon in front of you.*  
  
Seeking Serenity: Okay, somewhere along the lines this story stopped being a Harry Potter comedy and turned into a Labyrinth/Harry Potter crossover comedy. Oh well! As long as its good!  



	2. Hogwart's got a mind of it's own

A.N: Ha! *Seeking Serenity appears on her blue-black dragon* You probably thought I had died! No matter! Its the second chapter! The first chapter wasn't that funny..... Because we aren't at Hogwarts yet! It was originally supposed to be a Harry Potter comedy so I'll refrain from too much comedy till then! Thoughts are still in these! º.......º and author's notes are in these ¥...¥  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter! Or The Labyrinth! I don't even want to own Jareth, and I think the rest are too cool to own, and besides! Jim Henson would kill me if I said I owned them!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/@\~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ashia opened her eyes and groaned, "Goddess! We aren't even there yet!" (Ashia is a Wiccan, so am I, so you might hear us say goddess instead of god. We only say hell because its a swear word.) "Huh? Leslie? Hey Les! Where are you!"  
  
Leslie's head suddenly appears, "Oh, you're up! Come on Ashi, I want you to meet someone!" Before Ashia could even open her mouth to reply Leslie dragged her over to the seat that Sarah was sitting in. "Hey Sarah! I brought my friend to meet you! Sarah, this is Ashia Alcover-Fernandez, just call her Ashi. Ashia, this is Sarah Williams, and her brother Toby. Ashi? Ashi are you okay?"  
  
Ashia yanked Leslie over to the side, "Leslie! Do you even know what you just said!? Her name is Sarah Williams? And she has a brother named Toby? As in Toby Williams?"  
  
Leslie backed away from Ashia, "Okay, Ashi? You're really starting to freak me out."  
  
"Leslie! Think for a moment! Sarah Williams, Toby Williams, Maybe I should also add man with freaky hair! And biting fairys!"  
  
Leslie looked stunned, "Goddess bless, The Labyrinth!"  
  
"Yes Leslie, The Labyrinth! I thought we were going to Hogwarts!" Leslie looked at Ashia and started to giggle, then laugh. "What!? What did I say?"  
  
"Ho-Ho-Hogwarts, thats what you said!"  
  
"Is there a problem with that?"  
  
Leslie laughed louder, "Goddess Ashia! Hoggle! The Labyrinth! -Sarah getting his name wrong!-"  
  
"Oh wow! Thats right! Sarah called him Hogwart!"  
  
"And there is also Ludo, as in Ludo Bagman and big, hairy Ludo from the Labyrinth. Remember! I said I thought that J.K. Rowling must've really liked the movie The Labyrinth!"  
  
"Yeah, I remember, but oh! We're forgetting about Sarah!"  
  
Leslie and Ashia dashed back to Sarah's seat, "Sorry! Ashia asked me for a pad!"  
  
Ashia responded by whacking Leslie on the head, "There was a reason I asked you in -private- Leslie!"  
  
"Yes, yes, yes, but we have to go back to our seats, the plane is landing."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/@\~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"What!? The school did what!?"  
  
Proffessor Dumbledore looked patiently at Proffesor Snape, "Severus, I didn't create Hogwarts so I can't really tell you why it sent that letter out, I can tell you that you are going to be polite to the new teachers."  
  
Proffessor McGonagall smiled at them, "It might be nice to see which magic users the school picked."  
  
"Oh all right, I'll send someone out to pick them up."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/@\~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Leslie was the first one off the plane and immediately looked for Sarah and Ashia. She found them coming off a bit later. "Hey guys!"  
  
"Let's get our stuff!" Ashia called.  
  
A tall man approached Leslie, "Are you Ms. Leslie-Ann Mahina Cho?"  
  
"Depends whos askin'!" Leslie answered him.  
  
"I'm a representative from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, I'm here to pick you and Ms. Ashia Alcover-Fernandez up."  
  
"Oh good, then yes I am Leslie, but we will be taking one more person with us, just as a companion, seeing as she has no home and no other place to stay, do you know where the baggage pick-up is?"  
  
"We have already gotten your bags, right this way."  
  
"Well, all right." Leslie motioned to Ashia an Sarah and they followed the strange man out.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/@\~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
He led them to the school and they were met by the teachers there, "Proffesor McGonagall, our Transfiguration proffesor. Proffesor Flitwick, our Charms proffesor. Proffesor Snape, our Potions proffesor. Proffesor Sprout, our Herbs proffesor. Proffesors Lupin and Moody our Defense Against the Dark Arts proffesors, and I'm Proffesor Dumbledore the Head Master at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. You are?"   
  
Leslie introduced them, seeing as Sarah was to frightend and Ashia was dumbstruck, that happens alot to her. "I'm Leslie, your new Defending the Night, can I change that to Tortured Nights? yes thank you, teach... um, proffesor. This is Ashia, your new Betrayal of the Day proffesor, and this is Sarah, our friend." Leslie's look clearly challenged anyone to say that Sarah couldn't stay.  
  
"This is preposterous! You look no older than our fourth years!" Prof. Snape exclaimed.  
  
Leslie glanced at Ashia, "I'm so honored to be teaching here."  
  
Ashia bit down a giggle as Prof. Snape turned purple, "Insults shall get you nowhere!"  
  
Prof. McGonagall cut in rolling her eyes, "Severus please! I'm sorry, he got turned down for the Defense Against the Dark Arts job so he's been like this all day. Since we have enough teachers in Slytherin I'm placing you all in Gryffindor, plus Severus is in Slytherin so I don't think you'll like it there." Prof. McGonagall led them to their room and turned to leave. Before she left she told them, "The begining of the year feast is to be tomorrow night, tomorrow morning someone will take you both, (Ashia and Leslie) and Sarah if you want, to get the necessary wand, cauldron, spell book and potion set. Good night, and welcome to Hogwarts."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/@\~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ashia woke up bright and chippery, she bounced onto Leslie's bed and she woke up with a groan, "Ashi leave me alone! I didn't go to sleep until two!"  
  
"We have to get our stuff today!" She explained, going to wake Sarah up to tell her where Leslie and she were going.   
  
"It wasn't a dream then?"  
  
"Nope, come on!" Leslie bid farewell to Sarah and Toby and ran out after Ashia.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/@\~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Try another wand," The rather small man handed another wand to Leslie. She sighed and tried this one too. Mr. Ollivander was getting tired, which is saying something, finally there was no other wand in the store. "Very odd... hmmmm... Maybe this one! 12 inches, Shadow Silk, nightshade burnt by the flames of a pheonix when it was first reborn and a dragon heartstring."  
  
Leslie barely touched it and it sprang to life, when she grasped it, it shot a wonderful display of black and silver ribbons and sparks. "Guess this is mine then," she said wryly.  
  
"Yes, yes... now, thirteen Galleons and four Sickles."  
  
Leslie pulled out the money that was loaned to her and bought the wand. "Thank you." Then Leslie paused, "Oh wait! Our friend needs a wand too. Average height, chocolate brown hair and eyes, Sarah Willams."  
  
Mr Ollivander thought for a moment and brought a wand out, "Have her try this one, she can return it if it doesn't work. 10 inches, palm, pheonix feather. nine galleons, eight sickles."  
  
Ashia was choosing a wand next and it didn't take as long for her, "Ahhhh... 11 inches, koa, unicorn's hair. Very good with charms and transfiguration. ten Galleons and eight Sickles."  
  
Ashia payed him and they left, "So, we've got everything we need, let's go back!"  
  
Their guide came to find them and took them back to Hogwarts.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/@\~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Ready Lie?"  
  
Leslie looked up at Ashia and grinned. "Yeah, you ready?"  
  
Ashia smiled and twirled in a deep blue soft cotton robe, "Yes, aren't you going to put yours on?"  
  
Leslie grimaced and looked at the black robe on the bed, "No thank you. I hate skirts and dresses and that looks too much like either to actually wear it." Leslie had on black satin dress pants and a black satin button-up dress shirt, this along with the black hair-tie in her "triple-the-length-of-Rapunzel's", silvery-black with silvery-crimson and silver streaked hair made her look like a cute guy.  
  
Ashia looked Leslie up and down, ""I wonder how many girls are going to ask you out?"  
  
Leslie held up her wand proudly, "None, they will all know I am a girl and I am not looking. Now lets jet."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/@\~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A.N: Okay not much comedy in this chapter either, that is changing soon! 


	3. Introducing... Piss Of Snape!

A.N: Hey y'all! *Seeking Serenity appears on her blue-black dragon* Third chap! too make up for the lack of chapters during that long period here is two chapters in a day! hopefully they will have humorous things in them. Thoughts are still in these! º.......º and author's notes are in these ¥...¥  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter! Or The Labyrinth! I don't even want to own Jareth, and I think the rest are too cool to own, and besides! Jim Henson would kill me if I said I owned them!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/@\~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Harry, Ron and Hermione sat in their chairs at the Gryffindor table and everyone heard a door open with a bang. Snape's face turned sour, sourer if that's a word, and everyone looked to the doors. A girl with brown hair to her midback, and sort of looked like a chubbier version of Hermione with glasses, in a blue robe strode in. She waited by the door and in came a boyish looking girl with silvery-black, crimson and silver hair that was dragging the floor in black pants and a shirt, the only reason anyone knew she was a girl was because of the flashing sign above her that said "I AM NOT A MAN! I AM A GIRL! NOW SHUT YOUR MOUTHS!" followed by a girl with chocolate hair to her midback in a purple robe who was carrying a small baby. The three headed right up to the head table. "Who are they?" ran through the halls and the black haired girl's hand kept flicking the tip of the wand here and there, casting little sparks.  
  
Prof. Snape glared at the black haired girl who glared right back, still standing. The first years lined up and Prof. McGonagall called out the Sorting Hat. When the Sorting had finished its song and had sorted all the students Prof. McGonagall stood up again. "I'd like to introduce the teachers to the first years. Proffesor Flitwick, your Charms proffesor. Proffesor Snape, your Potions proffesor. Proffesor Sprout, your Herbs proffesor. Proffesors Lupin and Moody your Defense Against the Dark Arts proffesors. Proffesor Dumbledore the Head Master at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and I'm Proffesor McGonagall, your Transfiguration proffesor." Everyone but the first years and the Slytherins cheered when she introduced Proffesor Lupin and then she turned to the two girls. "These two are new teachers to Hogwarts," alot of students gasped and raised their eyebrows while Prof. McGonagall pointed to the light brown haired girl, "This is Proffesor Alcover-Fernandez your new Betrayal of the Day teacher."   
  
Prof. Alcover-Fernandez wrinkled her nose at her name, "Please, I hate Alcover-Fernandez, Call me Prof. Malia if anything." She bowed to the students and sat in the empty seat two seats down from Prof. Snape.  
  
Prof. McGonagall pointed to the black haired girl, "And this is Proffesor Cho," Harry gasped slightly at the name, him having a crush on Cho. "Your new Defend-um Tortured Nights proffesor." Prof. Cho had been glaring at Prof. Malia because the only seat left was right next to Snape. She gave a very brief nod to the students and sat next to a growling Snape. Ashia created a chair with her wand and Sarah sat between Leslie and Ashia.  
  
Leslie hissed to Snape, "I don't like it anymore than you do, but if you dare insult me or my friends you will find out the meaning of pain."  
  
He snorted derisively, "You can't do anything to me because I know more than you!"  
  
"Shut up and eat, before I shove the food down your gullet." Leslie slipped something to Ashia, moments later Prof. Snape's food exploded into his face.   
  
All talking stopped and Snape glowered at Leslie, "You are an incorrigible, immature brat!"  
  
Leslie sipped from her goblet and looked at him wryly, "It wasn't me and 'insults shall get you nowhere!'"  
  
"It couldn't have been anyone else!" Snape shouted with food sliding down his big nose.  
  
Leslie slammed her goblet down and glared at him, "Uh oh," Ashia muttered under her breath.  
  
"It could have been too! I am NOT the only person in here who has a wand Snape! It could very well have been the Weasly twins or Malia! Now odprejsknou!" (fuck off!) Leslie sat down in her chair with her arms crossed and pouted, "You big nosed freak!" Then she turned to Ashia, "Pass the mashed potatoes?"  
  
Ashia did, though catiously, and Leslie flung the lot at Snape. The whole hall was silent and the sounds of Peeves' giggles filled the air.  
  
"YOU BRAT!" Snape shouted.  
  
Leslie's eye started twitching, "He called me brat. That's new, I've never been called brat before." She sat quietly before standing up and shouting, "HE MUST DIE!"  
  
"LESLIE!"  
  
Ashia pulled her down but she shot back up, "HE WILL DIE!"  
  
"LESLIE! SHUT IT!"  
  
Ashia pulled her down and gagged her, "ME MUF FRY!"(HE MUST DIE!)  
  
Ashia's eye was now twitching in her irritation and she slammed her hand down. Unfortunatley her fork was there and the food on it sailed through the air and, with a little of Peeve's help, landed on Draco Malfoy's head. Ashia looked absolutely ahgast and Leslie was rolling on the floor, laughing after the gag fell out. Sarah giggled behind them and Ashia just glowered at the still laughing Leslie. "PEEVES!" She roared.  
  
Peeves, being no idiot, fled. Sarah huddled behind Prof. McGonagall as the students stared at their two new teachers. Leslie's laughter was wiped off her face completely like it had never been there, "If you weren't so easy to irritate nothing would've happened Ashia, so I'd suggest that you sit down."  
  
Ashia sat down, but still grumbled, "Dammit Peeves I'm going to kick your ass to hell and there's nothing you can do about it. Poltergist or not you will be dead before dawn."  
  
Sarah sat back in her seat when something dropped into her food and she screamed. Leslie and Ashia both looked and Leslie paled, covering her eyes as well. "I am soooo not looking!"  
  
Cue the lightning storm! The candles stay lit though. Ashia gave a screech, "My eyes! My poor eyes!"  
  
Sarah burst into a fit of giggles at Ashia's reaction. Draco would've insulted the freaky person by the window had he not been shocked at the fact that he was an animagus. Sarah turned to Leslie, "You're teaching about night magic, can't you do something?"  
  
Leslie snorted derisively, "And ruin my innocent," at this Ashia snorted derisively, "My innocent mind?"  
  
"Innocent!? Innocent!? Hello-o! S&M mean anything to you?" Ashia said sarcastically.  
  
Leslie coughed, "Oh my goddess! Ashia shut the hell up! Ew, ew. Ew, ew staying awaaaaay from Snape as of this moment! EW! More nasty images!" Ashia had the courtesy to faint at this remark. Leslie peeked at Ashia, "Did it work? Is she gone?"  
  
Sarah giggled, both forgetting that A freak was heading towards the table, "Yes, I think she's gone. You never know where her mind is."  
  
Another crystal hopped on the table and Sarah launched herself at Leslie, "This is a VERY compromising position." Leslie said flatly.  
  
Prof. McGonagall stood again, "And this is also a new proffessor at our School. Prof. Jareth, your new a History of Magic proffessor."  
  
Sarah fainted and Leslie rolled her eyes, "God-fucking-dammit! Now I have two of them to deal with." Little Toby tugged on her pant leg, "Make that three."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/@\~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Leslie collapsed onto her bed. Luckily Ashia had woken up so Leslie only had to deal with Sarah, Ashia had picked up Toby. "G'night Asi!"  
  
"Night Lie!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/@\~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Leslie woke at 5:00 due to the cold air and she pondered what to do. She finally wore an outfit just like the one from the night before only it was blood red. She waved her wand while she chanted and her hair looked like she was underwater, AKA flying all over the place. She played Kid Rock "American Badass" as she dressed and then she let her bat, who was okay with lights, hang from her sleeve and wrapped the rattler around her neck. "If this doesn't say crazy I don't know what does." She murmured. She looked at the clock, only 5:30, damn.  
  
"WOAH!" Leslie turned to see Ashia shivering in her bed, "DAMN it's cold! And what the hell did you do to your hair!?"  
  
Leslie winked, "I'm trying to piss Snape off. He doesn't think we should be here, I'll let him think it then knock him flat."  
  
They both woke up Sarah who blinked up at them, "What are you doing up so early?"  
  
Leslie and Ashia pulled Sarah out of bed, "Training you, if you're going to be our assisstant at times you will need to know the basics." Ashia explained.  
  
"Like how to turn Snape's hair hot pink! Or his clothes into fluffy tutus!" Leslie chirped.  
  
"Make his food come alive and hop around!" Ashia added, "And make his shoes turn into big clown ones!"  
  
"But I have to dress first!" Sarah squeaked.  
  
Ashia quickly tossed Sarah a dark, saphire blue robe and went to the bathroom to change into a lighter, sky blue robe. Leslie turned while they changed and threw a mini-sized, dark purple robe to Sarah. "For Toby." She called over her shoulder, "Might as well make him fit in."  
  
"Thanks!" Sarah called back.  
  
Ashia came out and the sky blue robe shifted colors to look like white clouds were passing over it every now and then. "I think it looks good on them."  
  
Leslie turned around, "So they're done?"  
  
"Yup!"  
  
Ashia nodded, "Now for your training."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/@\~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Leslie slid blood red sunglasses on and flashed a grin at the others, "If anyone says anything turn them into sacraficial goats and I'll use them in my class."  
  
Ashia shook her head, "Or just berate them, we really don't need to kill the lot."  
  
Leslie snapped her fingers, "Darn, I was going to turn Snape into a goat and give him to a vampire bat colony."  
  
Sarah giggled slightly and followed both of them closely, Leslie holding Toby. Ashia turned and looked at them with interest, "You three look like a family. Leslie is the dad, Toby is obviously the baby, and Sarah the mother and loving wife."  
  
Sarah blushed and ducked her head, "I think you've lost your marbles!" She sputtered.  
  
Leslie shook her head, "I never should've told you that I swung both ways. You make too much of a big deal when I do anything that has to do with people."  
  
Ashia just shrugged, "Oh well, your fault for giving me such interesting weapons to use against you. Now let's go!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/@\~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A.N: all the chapters will be this short to make them easier to get out. Review! 


	4. Now THAT is weird!

A.N: Hey y'all! *Seeking Serenity appears on her silvery crimson dragon* Fourth chap up! Thoughts are now in these! '...'  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter! Or The Labyrinth! I don't even want to own Jareth, and I think the rest are too cool to own, and besides! Jim Henson would kill me if I said I owned them!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ -_\\ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Sarah, Leslie,(changing it to Lie cuz that's my nickname) Ashia and Toby entered the Great Hall together. The reactions were expected. "Oh my god, don't they make a cute couple!"  
  
"Do you think that they're going out?"  
  
"They look so cute together!"  
  
"I wonder what's the scoop between them?"  
  
Lie grumbled under her breath and Ashia snickered. "Yes," Ashia said, "You two do look like a cute couple!"  
  
"Hloupy fena," (Stupid bitch) Lie muttered under her breath. Lie stopped and took a notebook out of her pocket, she wrote down a few things and then croosed out and erased others, then she pointed the wand at the ground in front of her and said. "Dizati se kurjak-brat! Dopustiti nas biti zajedno nekada ve'ce." (Arise wolf-brother! Let us be together once more.) A little silver wolf cub appeared in front of her and she "awwww"'ed under her breath, it looked so adorable! And it didn't fear her at all because she was the one who, in essence, gave it life. She scooped it up and Sarah peeked over her shoulder at it.  
  
It pawed her nose slightly and Sarah giggled, "It's sooo cute!"  
  
"It's a she," Lie said proudly.  
  
Ashia sighed, "I'm not going to help you if she eat's everything in site."  
  
Lie's eyes watered, "Hanzel used to do that. Sometimes... Chance..." She choked slightly, "Would do that as well."  
  
Ashia smacked herself in her forehead, "Dammit, dammit, I had to bring up her dead dogs."  
  
Lie began snickering and Ashia whacked herself again. "You fall for it every fucking time." Lie said in an amused voice.  
  
Ashia put her hand behind her head in a classic, embarassed, anime move and giggled, "I do don't I?"  
  
Lie put the wolf cub, now named Brynn, into a bag which appeared by her side and walked up to the head table with Toby in her arms. She spun Toby around a couple of times and Sarah panicked, "Don't drop him! Be careful!"  
  
Lie grinned, "I've been babysitting kids since I was in second grade of elementary school, I know how to handle them." Toby cooed slightly and gripped her hair. Lie giggled and brushed his nose with a strand. Suddenly her head looked up, "Hmm... Sit by Snape, or a freak in tight pants? Severus hold my seat!"  
  
Ashia looked up at the seats at the head table in shock, "Oh no you don't!"  
  
Lie grabbed Sarah, "Come on Sarah! Malia's after us!"  
  
They made it just in time and Ashia was forced to sit by the Goblin King dude. Snape looked down his nose at the three, "Are you quite finished?"  
  
Lie pretended to be pondering the deepest secrets of the cosmos, "Now let's see.......................................... Are you nuts!? Hell NO!" Then she looked at the drinks that were on the table, "Do you guys have any warm sake?" The sake appeared and she drank some, "Mmmm... Much better warm than cold. It doesn't have a lingering after-taste to me, Ashia wanna try?"  
  
Ashia made a gagging noise, "No thanks, I don't drink wine."  
  
Lie just sipped some more, "Well it's better than any of dad's wines, especially his Concha or Monterra, they have too much of a bitter after-taste but dad says that it's just because they were aged in oak barrels."  
  
"I think the melon liquor sucked, it was waaaay to bitter." Ashia finally said.  
  
Lie grinned, "I'm having doubts that it was fresh."  
  
Ashia winced at the rememberance, "Me too."  
  
Sarah looked at the two of them, "You guys drink?"  
  
Lie and Ashia both smirked, "When you have the house to yourself for extended periods of time you tend to do things to interest yourself. Sample the family drinks is one of them, I hate beer though." Lie commented.  
  
Ashia sighed, "I slept over one night and we decided to try some of the stuff. Atleast I don't smoke."  
  
Lie winced, "Christina tried to make me smoke you know, she wrapped the thing in a playing card so that no one would suspect. I don't think she should have done that. It's bad enough she looks and acts like a hooker, but smoking leads to drugs and I don't want anything tilting my vision like that."  
  
Ashia snorted derisively, "You only say that cuz the damn things don't work for you."  
  
"No, I only say that cuz I don't like things tilting my vision! Do you know how freaky those peeps acted after they got high? I expected half of them to start screwing in front of the whole school!" Lie snapped.  
  
Ashia shook her head, "Dani sold them condoms, what'd you expect they would do with them after they bought them? Use them as water balloons?"  
  
Lie giggled, "That would be interesting, but if they filled them with water atleast they'd have something to work with."  
  
Ashia laughed outright, "Those guys are midgets down there, ever see them after they looked at porn?"  
  
Lie nodded, "Very tiny, barely see-able, not like I was looking or anything."  
  
Ashia winked, "Dani was."  
  
Sarah shook her head at the two, 'I'm living with the craziest friends I've ever had.' But she laughed at what they were saying, "You guys are nuts!"  
  
Lie and Ashia looked at her in shock, "The shy-girl blossomed into a regular school-girl!" Ashia gaped.  
  
"Congradulations! this calls for a toast!" Lie poured them all some sake and they toasted the rebirth of the school-girl Sarah.  
  
"The school picked the worst people in the world for teachers." Snape muttered under his breath.  
  
Lie heard and snickered, then she spoke in a ghoulish voice, "You are all slaves! Slaves I tell you! SLAVES TO THE SCHOOL! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
  
Ashia and Sarah collapsed in a fit of laughter and Sarah spoke up, "I think I should stay away from the sake."  
  
Ashia grinned, "Naw, Lie has that effect on people, she can make them either act drunk and high, or depressed, angry and trying to kill something, or someone."  
  
Lie downed the rest of the sake, "Hey, Atleast I don't fall in love with jack-asses."  
  
Ashia glared, "I told you I'm over him!"  
  
"Then you fell in love with another asswipe," Lie said tiredly.  
  
"You fell in love with a jerk," Ashia said pouting, "I don't see why you rat on me."  
  
Lie stiffened, "I. Did. Not. Fall. In. Love. With. HIM!" Lie gripped the small sake cup so hard that it shattered in her hand, "Shit!" She dropped the peices and wrapped a cloth from her pocket around her hand to stop the bleeding.  
  
"You all right?" Ashia asked.  
  
"I really think you should go see Madame Pomfrey." Sarah said in a concerned voice.  
  
Lie grumbled, "I'm fine and I don't need to see anyone. It'll heal in a few days. If I can suffer skinned knuckles from ice I can suffer this." She closed her fist and took a deep breath, "I'm fine, I'm okay, I wont kill the next person I see."  
  
Ashia snickered, "You couldn't anyway. I remember you were always under the radar. We'd all talk about people who threatend us and you'd be there with a lost look on your face. The only time you ever annoyed someone was when you threw those boy's football cuz it nearly hit us! Twice those bastards!"  
  
Lie nodded, "The damn ball bounced off the roof though and they found it again." Lie was now stroking her rattler, Lysa, and had given Toby to Sarah because she wanted to feed him. Suddenly her bat, Tiya, shot out of her sleeve and landed in her hair.  
  
Sarah laughed and shook her head, "I think your dear Tiya thinks your head is a nest for her."  
  
Ashia snickered, "Her hair's been called a rat's nest before."  
  
Lie narrowed her eyes and pointed her wand at Ashia's head, "Nastati Rose Vines!"  
  
Rose vines entwined themselves in Ashia's hair and she shrieked. Sarah collapsed against Lie in laughter and Lie blushed slightly at how close she was. Sarah shakily held out her wand, "Rasturiti!" (Disperse!)  
  
Lie shook her head, then shot up, "The Sheild is on! Yes! Oh my god the bastard collects his own sperm!" she tumbled out of her seat in shock.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ -_\\ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A.N: I hope you all are pleased. So it's not the funniest fic in the world, certainly can't beat Zany Girl With a Computer, but I'm trying. 


End file.
